How to Choose a Maid of Honor


For a bride, one of the more stressful decisions you will have to make is choosing the perfect maid of honor. Although the planning process of a wedding is bound to be thrilling, this is really a burden. What can make the burden even more cumbersome is having sisters, best friends or other relatives expecting to be asked to play the role of maid of honor in your wedding. However, how you choose a maid of honor will require careful consideration as to who will add enjoyment to your day and to help relieve some of the stress as well.

How to Choose a Maid of Honor

Brides who have a close relationship with their sister can immediately eliminate any friends fighting over the maid of honor position by choosing your sister. But, if you do not have a sister, then you will face the difficult decision of figuring out how to choose your maid of honor among your best friends. The following steps can help you make the best and wisest decision.

Know What You Require from a Maid of Honor

Your maid of honor needs to be someone you know you can get the support and need from. You may have two amazing best friends, but weddings can lead to a number of stressful situations and you want your maid of honor to be someone who can be a rock when the time comes. Choose the friend that will be able to give you the help and support you are going to need in wedding preparation and process.


Consider Your Maid of Honor's Availability

Agreeing to be a maid of honor will be a time consuming job. You want your maid of honor to be able to commit to the job completely. She should be the friend that you have more access to and who can keep things organized and in order for you. If one friend lives further away or does not have the schedule to take on the maid of honor role, you may want to go with the other that has the availability.


Consider the Financial Burden

Be considerate of your friend's financial situation when making your decision. There are a number of additional costs that your maid of honor will be picking up the tab for, from the bridal shower to transportation expenses to meet you for wedding planning meetings. Not everyone will have the extra money to fully commit to the job and this can affect your decision on how to choose a maid of honor. It may be a relief to one friend who is having financial difficulties if you chose another maid of honor that is more financially stable.


Why Not Just Ask Both?

There are no set rules saying you cannot ask both friends to be your maid of honor. If deciding between two friends for the maid of honor is causing you more stress than necessary, then simply ask both. You can divide up the responsibilities between the two, which can result in more help and less stress for you. Just ensure that both friends can get along and work together to get all the duties done.


What If Your Best Friend Is A Male?

Maybe decades ago it would have been a completely taboo idea, but what if you have a best friend who is a male or have a close relationship with your brother? Why not break the traditional "rules". Gender has no baring on how to choose a maid of honor. You do not have to choose a maid of honor instead choose a man of honor!


Final Thoughts

Who you choose to be your maid of honor is your decision and you are not obligated to choose someone for the role just because you were her maid of honor or because of others' feeling. Your maid of honor should be someone you are the closest with and who you want to also stand by your side as you say "I do".

When you do decide on a maid of honor, remember that there is the possibility that the person you chose may not be able to accept the position, because the maid of honor role is such a time-consuming job and she is occupied. So you need to make the decision early and connect with her to see if it's fine. You may also need to have a backup just in case your first choice is unable to accept the position. So, when figuring out how to choose a maid of honor, consider your back up as well.