Frequently Asked Questions of Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette

When to have the rehearsal dinner

The wedding rehearsal dinner usually takes place after the wedding rehearsal, during the last few days before the actual wedding date. If the wedding day is on a Saturday, try to schedule this for mid-week. This way, it will allow people to have a few days to recover.

When to plan the rehearsal dinner

Many bride and grooms start planning for their rehearsal dinner anytime from 6 months before the wedding date. The earlier you can plan, the better. If you know the number of guests and the restaurant, book it as soon as possible to avoid disappointment.

​When to send out the rehearsal dinner invitations

The earlier you can send invitations out to guests, the better for you, and for them. The standard rehearsal dinner etiquette is between 4-6 weeks before sending your wedding invitation.

Who hosts the rehearsal dinner?

Usually the groom’s parents will host the rehearsal dinner, but this depends on the family situation, and whether they are comfortable in doing so. These days, many wedding rehearsal dinners are hosted by the bride and groom, so don’t worry if your parents are not up to it. Roll with the times and host it yourself. This way, you will connect closely with your family and friends before your wedding day.

Who pays for the rehearsal dinner?

In past times, the parents of the groom will pay for the rehearsal dinner, but as there are no rules in doing so, anyone can pay. Nowadays, as many more bride and grooms are paying for the wedding themselves, it is entirely up to them to decide. You could share it equally between the two families or you can foot the bill yourself.

Who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner?

Remember that the rehearsal dinner doesn’t have to be the whole entire wedding party. Think about inviting the close wedding party such as the bridesmaids, maid of honor, groomsmens and ushers. It is also common to have two guest lists for the dinner and for drinks after. Maybe you feel some friends and family will feel awkward at the dinner, so just invite them for drinks after. You are still all celebrating the wedding rehearsal dinner, but not all at the same time. If you do choose to do it this way, remember to send two kinds of invitations, with the different timings or venues. It doesn’t have to be everyone on your wedding guest list, keep that in mind.

Photo credit: BrianKhoury via Visual Hunt / CC BY-ND

Where to hold the rehearsal dinner

There are no set rules on having your wedding rehearsal dinner at a certain place. Where you hold your rehearsal dinner is completely up to you, but try and pick somewhere close to the rehearsal region. It could be one of your favourite restaurants.

Where should the guests sit?

For a larger get together, the rehearsal dinner etiquette requires that you plan a seating guide for your dinner. This is typically the first time that all of both the bride and groom's friends and families are all together, so with the seating allocated, it helps to relax your guests and not make people feel uncomfortable.

Photo credit: BrianKhoury via Visual Hunt / CC BY-ND

What’s the formality of the rehearsal dinner?

As well as having fun, feasting and making conversations, the guests have to dress properly. Do inform your guests of the formality of your rehearsal dinner, so they could dress accordingly. Keep in mind that the degree of formality should not exceed your wedding.

What should be on the menu?

If you are holding your wedding rehearsal dinner at a family member's house, the menu tends to be BBQ food that everyone can feast on. BBQs are fun, especially in the summer months and are very entertaining. If you have booked a restaurant, try not to choose the same type of food you are serving at your wedding. Many people decide on a menu that is completely different to their wedding menu. The wedding rehearsal dinner should not outshine your wedding menu.

What’s the process?

The rehearsal dinner is a great way for your family and friends to meet each other before your big day. Toasts and gifts play a big part within the rehearsal dinner, and this is where the hosts make a speech and then the groom can give a speech to his soon-to-be in-laws. Bear in mind, that the toasts on the night will not be planned out, like your wedding, they tend to be unprompted. The gifts are usually from the bride and groom to their parents and bridal party. It is also the opportunity for the bride and groom to exchange gifts. Remember: treat the rehearsal dinner as a warm up to your full wedding party, which will take place within the next few days.

Bear those rehearsal dinner etiquettes in mind and have fun!