How to Refuse Wedding Invites?
Have you received a wedding invite? And you are in “to go or not to go situation”, here is a guideline for you on how to refuse wedding invites skillfully.
It’s your wedding! The most special day of your life and you have every right to celebrate it the way you want to. But sometimes situation can become pretty tough, especially if you have to hand out wedding invitation (no children are welcomed); because many people find it very cruel and an anti-family thing to do. In this modern era where some people are totally okay with the child-free wedding idea, there are also some people who holds a very strong opinion against it because they think that wedding is a family thing and children must be a part of it. Telling people to not bring kids to your wedding without sounding disrespectful is a very tricky thing to do. You have to convey message very politely without hurting your guests’ feelings.
Using phrases such as “no children” or “children not allowed” sounds very rude to the readers and people can very easily get offended. Therefore, it’s better to use phrases like “adult only wedding” or “adult only reception” or “adult only ceremony and reception.”
Another way to give child free wedding invitation is to write only names of adults on RSVP cards. This will make it very clear without being impolite that kids are not invited.
Use sentences such as “for all the couples being able to enjoy the party to the fullest, we are having only adult reception theme.”
The best way is to say it in a diplomatic way and sugar coat your invitees so that they feel that actually you are doing them a favor by giving a child-free wedding invitation! For example, “hey little honey bunches have sweet dreams and let your mommy and daddy have some fun time!”
Another way is to tell people that it is management’s rule to not have children. “Due to restrictions from management, children are not allowed” or “we would love to have your little sweet hearts at our wedding but unfortunately the venue management doesn’t allow kids”.
Sometimes written words are misinterpreted and it gives a very negative impression. It is better to tell them personally in a very polite tone that it will be a child-free wedding or just casually bring out the topic by asking if they have arranged any babysitter yet. This will give them clue that kids are not invited. Furthermore you can ask your parents or other family members to spread the word that it’s a child-free wedding invitation.
Tell your invitees that you are not inviting kids because the venue has allowed limited number of guests. In this way they will understand and it won’t sound rude at all as it is a very genuine reason.
The most important thing is to treat all of your guests equally. Many of your close friends and relatives might not be able to leave their kids at home but if you allow them to bring their kids then your other guests will become very offended and it will be very disrespectful behavior towards them.
Along with your wedding invitation place a small reception card having words such as “adult cocktail hour and reception at (time)”; this eliminates the need of wedding invitation wording (no children).
Another way to compensate is that invite children only to the wedding ceremony and not for reception. You can mention on your invitation, “adult-only reception” or “kids are invited in wedding ceremony”.
Before sending invitations call your friends and relatives who you think might not really like the idea of giving child-free wedding invitation! Just calmly tell them the reason behind it so that they won’t mind at all and understand your point of view.
Click to learn more etiquettes for an adult-only wedding from the Knot.