When Does the Ring Bearer Come in


Weddings are probably the biggest and most lavish event in anyone’s life. Just as important as saying those two magical words that bind you to the love of your life for all eternity, are the people who take part in your big day. When it comes down to it, there is a long line of tradition in play. And we have questions, like when does the ring bearer come in? Read on to find out.

Where Did the Term Ring Bearer Come From? (The Origin)

While planning a wedding, it’s likely the origins or the reason behind certain elements involved are the last thing on our minds and frankly, never really occur to us. The ring bearer, believe it or not, is quite an old tradition. There is a good amount of contradictions as to the origins of the bearer, some even consider this particular custom dates back to Ancient Egypt! What we do know is that the first known ring bearer was in the Medieval Era, when the rings were either presented on the tip of a soldier’s sword (and probably highly difficult to take off, in my opinion), or carried by the Page, which was customarily a young boy at least 7 years old . The rings were taken to the Bride and Groom to exchange, another very important tradition which symbolizes the union that is taking place between the two. Many years later, and possibly due to considerable injuries I wager, swords were replaced by pillows which were a luxury not many people could afford in the old days, thereby socially indicating the economic standing of the to-be-weds. Ring bearer pillows nowadays come in many shapes and sizes, but the young boy custom is standing strong, albeit girl bearers are just crazy cute too.

When Does the Ring Bearer Come in? (The Duties)

As we all know, the ring bearer’s main duty is to, well, bear the rings. The chosen child or furry pet usually walks down the aisle carrying a pillow with the wedding rings, or in most cases, fake rings. This is done quite a lot for those who worry the rings might get lost (or swallowed) on the way up to their blushing owners. In these cases the best man is usually in charge or carrying the real deal. Some people don’t even give the ring bearer rings and use their role for other services, such as carrying scrolls or banners with some sort of message to be conveyed to the crowd.

The ring bearer is usually young so it’s best to help them understand their duties and how they are expected to behave ahead of time. Children’s books on the subject would help immensely, and ask the ring bearers to practice their role in the wedding at the rehearsal so they know what to expect.

So actually, when does the ring bearer come in? Customarily, the person in charge of rings walks the aisle with or ahead of the flower girl and right before the Bride. If the two get along, pairing the ring boy and the flower girl is a good idea since it takes a lot of the pressure off. Having so many eyes staring at just one person can be intense, especially for kids. Another idea is to have someone older that the child trusts or likes to escort them to where they need to go. After walking down the aisle, the ring bearer presents the maid of honor and best man with the pillow holding the rings and they proceed to remove the rings to present to everyone. Once this is done, the ring bearer’s job is complete and he may stay at the head with the rest of the individuals participating in the ceremony, or sit with a family member in the crowd.

The ring bearer is also expected to make an appearance at the reception and during photos. Planning ahead of time is important when working with small children. Make sure they know what is expected of them during the ceremony and photos, but most of all, remember they are kids. Children are wonderful, spontaneous creatures who, while often frustrating, they could finish the task with correct instructions.

What Does the Ring Bearer Wear? (The Attire)

As for the overwhelmingly adorable attire, ring bearers most often wear a mini version of the groomsmen’s full tuxedo, tie or bowtie, dress shoes and sometimes even a pair of snazzy gloves to pull it all together. Sometimes the bride will have the bearer’s colors to match the chosen wedding color, to go with the décor and the flower girl’s sash. However this is something to be openly discussed, as the parents of the bearer usually pay for the attire, they must be consulted.

Photo credit: bengrey via Visual Hunt / CC BY-SA